They do. At least they think they do. If you, like me, watched the documentary on Channel 4 the other night about real life vampire and werewolf cults in America, you'll know what a shambles the very idea is.
'Teen Vampires' it read as the show kicked off and I sat on the couch with the lights off ready to be amazed and scared shitless by a savage group of descendants from Transylvania. How very very disappointed I was. Turns out the whole documentary was centred on a group of kids in America who dress in black and desperately seek attention. You could see some were future murderers looking for a reason for their impending actions.
'I belong to the wolves and crave blood'. No mate, you're an attention seeker. One silly bitch even started swaying declaring she felt 'drunk' after licking the blood of a friends arm. What an absolute farce. Ready to turn over, I reached for the remote when a stout woman appears on screen identifying herself as one of the kids' mothers. Here's the part she tells her adolescent daughter to stop wearing plastic fangs, get a job and some friends... surely? Nope, she invites the group in and gives one of them a huge kitchen knife and asks him to cut himself. The soft bastard nearly slices him arm off as blood flows from the wound. Presumably they all 'feasted' well that night.
How then can one call these vampires? They don't turn to bats, don't turn to ash in sunlight and one even had a Spiderman t-shirt on. Some claimed to be wolves, not vampires. What makes these different you say? Well, they don't like the vampires in the group for a start. Er, that's it actually. Well I despise all these kids, what does that make me? A goblin? A troll? A bat-wolf hybrid?
Apparently, this craze is sweeping American schools. Some even chain each other together as, like a wolf, they pick a mate. And they wonder why they don't fit in? Anyone did that in my school the chain would be round their neck before they could say Robert Pattinson. These are essentially the attention seeking emo kids from school, with extras. Basically, they moan about being different then claim to be just that. Then go home, cut themselves and claim it's in their nature to do so.
In all seriousness though, it was sad to see some of these formerly driven kids reduced to sitting in a room full of candles, obviously depressed, and making excuses that it's normal as they're vampires. I was looking forward to the new Twighlight movie, but if it's just going to be Robert Pattinson sitting on his arse in his room all day with his Spiderman pyjamas on crying I think I'll pass.
Note: You can watch the said episode here.
No comments:
Post a Comment
I read and appreciate all comments...